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If you know me well, you will know that I have been on quite a healing journey. During the past five years, I’ve done it all. I chose to live in silence and free from distractions for 10 days, at a Vipassana retreat. Most recently, I have been using float tanks as a way to reflect on my intentions, actions and simply relax. I’ve gone to energy healers, therapists, practiced meditation and yoga and have also done EMDR.
At this point, I’m not really going to dive into all those therapies, but would like to emphasize that I feel like I have been chasing this idea of “Mindful Living,” for quite some time.
I’ve read the top self-help books, I’ve prayed, I’ve set intentions, and I’ve visualized. If I’m being 100% honest, I’m hesitant to admit this because of the fear of being judged. I have this fear that if people really saw everything I was doing, it would just re-affirm that “I’m struggling, or I’m weak.”
Well tonight, as I was reading “The Untethered Soul,” by Michael A. Singer, There’s a part that really resonated with my journey:
“So don’t fall. Let go. No matter what it is, let it go. The bigger it is, the higher the reward of letting go and the worse the fall if you don’t. It’s pretty black-and-white. You either let go or you don’t. There really isn’t anything in between. So let all of your blockages and disturbances become the fuel for your journey. That which is holding you down can become a powerful force that raises you up. You just have to be willing to take the ascent.”
For all this time, I was drawn to the idea of being in control. I wanted to control my emotions and experiences, in order to live a happier life. I wanted to live so “Intentionally,” but in reality, it created a blockage. In trying to create a more positive experience, I forgot to honor the tough times as valuable feedback.
Lean into those moments when you are feeling reactive. Don’t view it as a personality flaw, look at it as an opportunity. Listen to the feedback that the universe provides us on a daily basis. Most importantly, be aware and cautious to identify with these experiences. I truly believe that the most uncomfortable, anxious, anger-provoking, ego deflating experiences have the power to teach us our most valuable lessons.
What does letting go look like? Is it simply allowing the tough moment to pass, and acknowledge it, free from judgment?
-PJL
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